


There’s a grief that can’t be spoken (There’s a pain, goes on and on…)

by MakingStarsShine



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Loss fic, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8765671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakingStarsShine/pseuds/MakingStarsShine
Summary: This is a request fic for @watch-over-junkrat,who requested: “the reader was Cisco’s girlfriend (also a part of Team Flash) and when Barry changed the timeline, instead of Dante dying in a car accident it was the reader.” So here it is! I hope it’s what you asked for, and I hope you all enjoy it!PS: The title is from the Les Mis song “Empty Chairs at Empty tables” but the song really has nothing to do with the fic, I just had the song in my head while I was trying to come up with a title…





	

Cisco paced the cortex, his entire body felt frozen, not by cold though he was shaking ever so slightly; He felt frozen in time. It was like his mind was running a million miles and hour, going over and over what he and the team had over heard Caitlin telling Barry in the warehouse before, but his body was infuriatingly stuck in this place, in this time, in this moment. He wanted to be sick, or to scream, or cry, or break everything within his reach but he didn’t, he just kept pacing, back and forth like a caged animal.

“Cisco,” he heard Barry’s voice as he limped into the room, his tone was soft and apologetic, but it sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Cisco, “hey man…what Caitlin said-”  
“Was she lying?” Cisco had to know, he didn’t want to listen to any of Barry’s excuses, didn’t want to look at Barry’s guilt ridden face while he tried to explain his way around what Caitlin had revealed to them all, he just needed a yes or a no.

Barry paused for a moment before answering, his eyes glancing off to the side as he said “No,” and that was all Cisco needed, but Barry still tried to go on, still tried to work around it, “I’m-” he didn’t get to finish as Cisco stared him down.

“You’re sorry?” Cisco asked softly, his tone dangerous, “that you killed Y/N? Because she was here,” he took a step towards Barry, his hand lifting to jab him in the chest with every word, “she was alive, until you created Flashpoint, until you did this!” with his last words he shoved him, wanting to do so much more but knowing it would hurt him more than Barry in the end. He hated him, hated how stupid and selfish Barry had been, to go back in time for himself, everyone else be damned. And now Y/N was dead, just like that, and all Barry could say was that he was sorry?

Cisco could still remember the night it happened as though it were yesterday. He’d called Dante to ask how the job hunt was going, still kind of surprised that his older brother had made an effort after their heart to heart the night that Cisco had watched his doppelganger, Rupture, being killed by Zoom. He remembered the sound of your voice in the background, cheering about the successful day you and Dante had had, you being sweet enough to offer your help in collecting applications. He could remember how you laughed when Dante had handed over the phone, how you’d apologized for hijacking the conversation, and how you’d said you’d see him soon because you and Dante were both on the way over with the dinner you’d bought to celebrate the ‘Ramon Brothers reunion’. Cisco had waited for two hours before calling Dante again, wondering what was taking you both so long, and that’s when he’d found out.

Dante’s voice shook as he answered the phone, rambling on about how sorry he was, how he’d distracted you, he must have, that’s why you didn’t see the other car coming. It took Cisco ten minutes to get to the hospital where they refused to let him see you, the doctors all telling him to be calm, that they were doing their best, the usual speech they gave to all the panicked loved ones who came to the emergency room searching for a trauma patient. He sat there for another half hour before Dante showed up, bandages on his face and arms where glass had cut him, limping ever so slightly. He’d explained what had happened as best he could, breaking into tears here and there as Cisco listened and clung to him. It was another half hour before the doctors came out, solemn faced as they spoke in soft slow tones, telling Cisco they had done all they could, but your injuries were just too severe.

 

After that things got fuzzy, Cisco couldn’t remember how but he’d gotten back to his apartment, Dante slept on his couch. The next morning Dante told him he’d had a breakdown, fell to his knees in tears, the whole nine yards. That afternoon the police showed up at his door, they said the other driver had been drunk and they asked Dante for a statement, all while Cisco sat beside him, numbly listening to the conversation. You had been so…bright. All Cisco could seem to remember about you those first few days was how sunny and warm you had been, how sweet and loving and perfect, or perfect to him at least. He had loved you so much, and you had been taken from him so quickly, it was like a rubber band had snapped, at times he half expected you to walk through the door with a smile on your face, his mind still reeled at the idea of you being gone forever.

He could feel the tears coming, but he held them in, swallowed them down, his mind a jumble of pain and anger and worry. “I don’t even know how to feel right now!” he cried, looking Barry in the eyes and taking in the resigned guilt held in them, “all I know is Caitlin is out there, and we need to find her…can we do that?” He needed to focus on something else, anything else, and Caitlin needed them so he chose to focus on her, the one loss he actually had a chance at fixing. Barry agreed, and Cisco told them all what he’d gotten from hacking Julian’s computer. They decided to split up, Joe and HR going to one of the addresses he’d read out, and Cisco going to the other on his own, Barry staying behind because of his injury.

As Cisco went to leave Barry called to him, “Cisco…if you find her-”

But Cisco shook his head, “I won’t call you,” he said plainly, his face an emotionless mask as he added, “you’ve done enough,” and left without another word.


End file.
